So we follow our wandering paths, and the very darkness acts as our guide and our doubts reassure us.
Jean-Pierre de Caussade
It's been a long while since my last post. As today is my birthday, I felt it time to resurface and speak a bit of my wanderings. After the last post due to a number of issues, life as I wanted to live it stopped. I went inside, did a good deal of reading, meditation and exploration about the direction of my life. There wasn't photography/art being done and music was sporadic. My mother was a on a plateau so I didn't have to travel....
The results have been amazing. In letting go and not trying to attempt to direct the direction of my life, the direction of my life became clearer. Some of the things that came, an opportunity to work with a collage artist in a workshop (I had been trying to do this for the last three years), an opportunity to use my music in a creative way at work in coming months and an series of intimate encounters with someone that taught me much.
I don't fully know what is next....I've been putting out the what I hope for and the how seems to come. I'll be going to Michigan again in a month to spend time with my Mom. We know her time is limited. She is entering into a round of chemotherapy to keep her going for a few more months (she hopes). I have hope for more travel in 2011 and perhaps a life/career change, but again I'm letting the sign posts guide me as I come to them rather then trying to map the whole journey.
So my last year has literally been about life and death. There has been and is a dying to the old, but the new rumba I have with life is incredible. I hope that I can model to others the steps I've learned.....
Jesse Cook, "La Rumba D'el Jefe":
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