Saturday, November 9, 2024

The Day America May Have Died

 

"We can have democracy in this country, or we can have great wealth concentrated  in the hands of a few, but we cannot have both."

-Louis D. Brandeis

This has been the hardest week of my life.  I have always supported a two party plus system in America. I have worked behind the scenes of politics and am very aware of how the game is played, i.e. not just voting, but lobbyist, power plays, donations etc. And overall, the game has had its balance with challenges through out our system. I also have treasured checks and balances in that no one party control all branches of the government for any extended period of time. Finally, as a clinically trained social worker I have often aligned with the Democrats, but from time to time have aligned with others. 

On Tuesday night, I saw the ideals of what America has fought to develop and/or maintain however imperfectly within its boundaries for 248 years come to it's highest risk since perhaps it's inception or the Civil War. A convicted narsissitic felon who has disdain for so many principals that this countries constitution has held, was placed back into the highest office of this country.  I have been dismayed by other elections, but never have I felt trauma like this and believe me as a woman who has had sexual, emotional and physical trauma, I know the feeling. I started seeing clients on Wednesday and I have heard trauma responses since then. An election should not create this, but when vulnerable people fear that their rights as citizens could be reduced or invalidated there are reasons for that. Slavery followed by Jim Crow laws. Women denied the right to vote, to control their sexuality/bodies how they choose or denied the ability to have individual credit on their own merit until 1974. And many others with their stories and battles to be seen as equal.  Democrats are not blameless. In World War II we placed citizens of this country who we deemed a risk into internment camps. I had occasion to work with a Japanese patient who was in one as a young teenager. We had many heart felt discussions. I also remember what he said, "I believe in the constitution of this country as it was written, but I will never fully trust how it is interpreted."

Many people who were opposed to the individual who was elected and his party synchopats are now discussing should they stay or go; Vulnerable individuals are dealing with fears of being swept up in a lawless drag net. Older adults and disabled individuals are fearing for their savings, Social Security and Medicare. Women loss of their rights and body decisions. People feeling distrust of others. I keep telling people not to panic or depair in the long game, as that is what tyranny wants people to do as it is easier to control them. Finally, I think to the aforementioned gentleman. I asked him why didn't he leave America. He told me because I am a citizen, it is my home and I do believe in the constitution and wanted to see that it would never again be interpreted as it was in WW II. So here we are. The next months will not be easy.  It will probably be full of struggles and splitting that we haven't seen in decades.

I choose hope, to fight and to bring back balance, and to keep moving forward with individual rights. It won't be an easy task, but anything worthwhile can never be taken for granted or gained without work. Already state and local governments are gearing up. Social justice groups are gearing up. Most of all, individuals are gearing up. We are a nation based on immigration whether some of us have been here one year or a few hundred years. We grow through diversity, letting others work towards and finally achieving the American dream. None of us here now own that dream, we are its stewards holding it for generations to come.

I'll see you on the protest lines.

Bob Marley, Get Up Stand Up:







Saturday, September 21, 2024

Who I'm Becoming

 

"Inspiration is the greatest gift that an artist bequeaths to future artists, igniting the desire to produce their own work"
-Patti Smith

As I delve back into photography, I continue to look for inspiration and work to grow. Earlier today I watched a video produced by a young photographer I admired and a couple of the things he deemed important to grow as a photographer included travel and reading photo books. The travel aspect I am working on due to the changes in the recent few years, but photography books are easier to obtain thanks to the great library system and thrift stores here.

Tonight I've been delving through Patti Smith's, "Book of Days". It's an inspiration in that she produced the images on her old Polaroid (I adore instant film) and other cameras. She had posted them on Instagram. I'm doing something similar. However, for me it's not about becoming famous or known really, it's the act and discipline of figuring out what inspires me and where I'm going on this journey. Putting them out, enforces the discipline. I know that I love both analog and digital. I don't feel I have to give up one over the other, rather I think they can co-exist and provide a unique path of creativity. Just a note is that some people feel they are more Zen with film then digital. I actually am finding that I am fairly Zen with my digital. I don't shoot a good deal all at once. I look for inspiration and then just take a few shots at most. It's kind of a street photography approach. If I'm lucky and use what I know, I often get what I hope for.

And so the journey of becoming continues.

Patti Smith, "Horses":





Thursday, September 5, 2024

Pondering on Photography


"The attributes of asymmetry are humility, grace, kindness and decency, while profit, greed and indecency are symmetry."
-Yohji Yamamoto 

Reading CBK: Carolyn Bessette Kennedy, A Life in Fashion. While it's a book about her style, there is a subtext relating to photography. A big hallmark of being a photographer is finding your voice. Another is the theme of the juxtaposition of photography both being private and public. Interestingly CBK never wanted fame, but it was thrust upon her and her life became a paparazzi nightmare.  This leads into the idea of street photography with an individual(s), is capturing an unexpected moment and then often placing it in the public eye. It used to be an individual could still retain their anonymity, but now with the lack of boundaries that can occur, the individual can be given a public persona. For me that is going to be a hardship. I think that if I capture a private moment with an individual, I would want their permission first before publishing it. Which may fly in the face of some street photographer's approaches, but you are seeing all sorts of ideas in today's world. Watching a series of YouTube interviews with street photographers, I watched one who did portraits only if the person was willing and then if possible would share it with them.

I found her interview so inspiring, I will share the link for this instead of the usual music.

Paulie B, "Spreading Joy With Photography".





Monday, September 2, 2024

Continuing

"A good snapshot keeps a moment from running away".
-Adrienne Grimes

So it was a great couple of days working with digging into photography. I went into YouTube for inspiration and went out and got some shooting done. Still working with my phone as I work up a couple of cameras that have been sitting.  Watching people do street photography brought back memories of a trip I took to SF with my former roommates father who was/is a brilliant photographer. I learned so much, but didn't fully keep up. That and portraiture are themes that are on my mind. 

I found out by looking at videos on cameras on Ebay, that film is coming in and there by driving up prices again. I mourn that I had loaned a Zenza Bronica ESTR to a friend in California and never got it back....it's not going to be cheap to pick up medium format again, but I have plans for that.

But my soul is singing and I'm happy to be digging in.

Paul Simon, "Kodachrome":




 

Saturday, August 31, 2024

Rebeginning Creatively

"Creativity requires the courage to let go of certainty".

-Eric Fromm


After spending quite a bit of time with the uncertainty of the last few years, I lost purpose direction and floundered. After focusing on a move and a new way of working, I had time to begin to question what is my purpose is at my current decade of life, what do I want to do with time that I have left. Sounds like a really bad cliche, but even clichés contain elements of truth.   And circling back to the beginnings of this blog, I rediscovered my love and passion for photography especially film.

It hit me that I have more freedom than I have ever had if I choose to use it. So this holiday weekend I am committing to a labor of preparation. Cameras are coming out and some on their way. Work on bringing my skills back into practice through reading, puersuing pertinent YouTube videos and signing up for a photography course on personal development and expression.  Finally I realized an area of my garage could be turned into a darkroom. Ambitious yes, but a long term dream.

Finally my plan is to post more frequently here and daily to Instagram. The creative inspiration is to leave in this world my vision and how I've learned to see it as I go through the last year's and hopefully decades of life. I'm sure it will be refined more, but gain freedom to explore and express.

Beyonce, "Freedom":



  

Wednesday, August 7, 2024

A Milestone


"Another year wiser, another year bolder"


So today I hit a milestone birthday. I won't say my exact age, but let's just say I'm now a wise woman. The government now sees me differently as do many organizations. I don't agree with them, but there it is. I don't have a profound insight for today, but just that I am getting back into life post Covid. It took me a little longer as I had surgery that had been delayed and then a major move to a new state. Which is still hotter then I ever dreamed of, however, I am adapting.  I did buy a ticket and am joining a group of friends next month for a major reunion.

So life will go on and develop. I will try and get back here more as I dig in.

Destiny's Child, "Birthday":









Tuesday, June 25, 2024

Beginning Yet Again


 "Never feel guilty for starting again."
-Rupi Kaur


These days being a flaneuse has been more mental than physical. I moved to Arizona to be closer to family, to redo my career and to try and figure out where I am in this whole aging process. The career has stabilized, the family thing has been frought with tension. And let's just say the aging process as society would have it has sparked my inner rebel.

Last night I took a trip to the Celebrity Theatre in Phoenix to see Joe Jackson. It was a last minute invite and I had no idea what to expect. I hadn't really followed him in recent decades. What happened was a brilliant music meets theater as he presented musical hall songs inspired by the Victorian/Edwardian era. It was boisterous, bawdy and brilliant. He came out in a suit played some his earlier work on a electric piano and then excused himself. He came back essentially as a character he created, Max Champion, and brought with him, what looked like a steam punk band. It was fun, creative and ended up with a standing ovation.

So I'm inspired to begin again, to reinvent and see what I can discover both as a mental and soon physical flaneuse.

Joe Jackson, "Is She Really Going Out":



Saturday, January 27, 2024

Beauty Is...


 "Everything has beauty, but not everyone sees it."
-Anonymous 

I went outside tonight and found the waning moon in a glow surrounded by jet streams. Nature and technology combined to form an unexpected eerily beautiful scene. Beauty can be anywhere if we just take time to see it.

John Legend and Ariana Grande, Beauty and the Beast;




Friday, January 5, 2024

In the Seat of Contentment

 


"To be content doesn't mean you don't desire more, it means you are thankful for what you have and patient for what's to come."
-Tony Gaskins

Like many this year I have set some intentions. One of them is to live more frugally and sustainably. This is not new, it is a journey I began last year, but it was a bit sidetracked by my major move and how that had had to happen. As I purused videos on practicing these qualities one person gave insight that was so obvious, but carried the depth of in your face wisdom. To be content with what you have already. When I stopped looked around and measured,  I realized that I already have the material things I need for the most part. If something new is needed then I will be patient and see what the best approach for bringing it into my world is. 

And I also realized I can be content with who I am basically and thankful for the wisdom I already possess, the changes and growth that I need will come to me in it's own time and in it's own way. Let's hope I can continue to live out this insight for the duration of the year....

U2, 'Beautiful Day':




 

Wednesday, January 3, 2024

Choosing To Be Here Now


"Just be here now".
-Ram Dass


During the past year I was so busy looking at the past or future I was rarely in the present. To be sure there were times when I needed to be, but found that when there were moments to relax, to experience the moment, my anxiety was pushing me into other places. I got away from my creativity and the effects have shown. I was determined to get back to it.

One of the things that I have noticed in living in Arizona is light. It has more of a dominate presence than any other state in which I have lived. As a result I had started watching it especially in the early morning and evening. It transforms some of the most mundane moments. I caught my neighbors roof tiles and was entranced by how beautiful they became in the golden hour. And so it is at times when we choose to just be here now. This is one of the things I intend to return to in this year. We'll see how it goes.

Yo Yo Ma, Nature at Play (Bach):





The Day America May Have Died

  "We can have democracy in this country, or we can have great wealth concentrated  in the hands of a few, but we cannot have both....